Searching For Love

In 2004, T wrote this song.

He played the cello and piano in a few rock bands for a couple of years but did not choose music as his career only to play ‘second fiddle.’ Since testing HIV positive in 1996 when he was twenty, he wanted to make the world better through his compelling story and musical talents, so in 2004 he attended a four-week workshop where artists learned how to do business out of their art. It was then that he realized that his story and music he had written so far would best be told in ‘rock opera’ form!

Soon after this workshop, he began writing the first script for the stage production of ‘Southern Time,’ and wrote this song. Thus, this song turned out to be in musical theater style, with a rock opera edge.

The song starts from Dreamer’s perspective (Dreamer, based on T, is the main character of the ‘Dreamer’ series).  In verse three, the voices/demons inside Dreamer’s head start to berate Dreamer for being the loser that he perceives himself to be. By the end of the song, the voices in Dreamer’s head give Dreamer a hopeful message…

LYRICS

Searching for love, I fall on my knees, forever diseased
I knocked at your door, in the hopes to find peace, forever forlorn
It’s you I must have, but it’s you who won’t give what I need so bad…
So I’m at loss… (It’s just too bad.)

I sold my soul, for a penny of love from that goddess above
But what did I get? But a colorless home filled with sorrow and death
I tried my best, but it never seemed to pass the test…
So I’m lonesome and bored… (He’s a mirror of us.)

Hey Dead Dreamer, Dreamer, dead Dreamer
My you scream at those screamers, don’t they believe you’re still a ‘dreamer’?
Is it them that you blame, for your going insane?
Can’t you admit that you’re wrong? Is it really hard to be that strong?

You destroy yourself by this blaming of someone else
For the pain that you feel; you fear you’ll never feel real
Where your one sole desire is to be a bad liar
You announce to the world you can only cry “HER!”

But I came to you, in the hopes to receive the will to believe
But what did I get? But a pat on the head, a stab in the back…
What’s there to say?
But, “sorry man, you were just too late, maybe another time, we’ll have to see”.

My Dread Dreamer, you’re such a screamer…
What really is your point, did we really disappoint you?
Is there no way that you can see, that you are already free?
By continuing to choose this strife, you’ll only waste your life

There is a way to be free, you only have to believe
You are free! As we all are free…

~ Instrumental ~

For the future’s full of wasted chances, pestilential nances
Don’t be fooled, you could prove to be one of Death’s danced-ons
Life can be great! Just hold on, it’s never too late
And one day we’ll see (we’ll all see)
The reason we believed…